I want to start a conversation- actually just continue one that I’ve been having with a friend about – Friendships over 40.

Maybe you have been lucky enough to have made some friends when your kids started school where you naturally bonded, regularly hang out and are still friends even when the kids have grown apart. Maybe you’re are luckier still and are still friends with people you meet at school or uni.

But maybe you feel a bit like me at times, you want that tight group feeling like the SATC girls portray. You have friends but they live far away, are in different stage of life, or you just don’t really get to spend time with them. Maybe you are sitting at home and feel dissatisfied, feeling alone, feeling unloved. Sound familiar to anyone or is it just me?

I think I have a solution.

Be the friend you want.

I see people wanting so much in life – perfect job, kids, house, marriage… we have high expectations but aren’t always prepared to do the work for it.

So before you start complaining about your friends and what they don’t do for you, look at yourself and see how you can be a better friend.

When was the last time you made a meal for someone? Wrote a card? Sent an encouraging text? Initiated some hang out time?

Yes our world is incredibly self centred. It can feel just too busy. But if it’s important to us to have good friendships then we should invest the time in them.

Just like having a nice space in your home – it takes some effort but it also needs realistic expectations. I don’t live in NYC with loads of money and a fancy wardrobe so I’ll probably never have SATC like adventures (but to be honest I don’t want that) but if I take off my rose coloured glasses for a moment I’d see that those girl had their ups and downs together. They weren’t always tight especially when babies, new relationships and changed locations happened.

I want to start a movement, a change, where instead of complaining about what are friends aren’t, we are being the friend we want. We shouldn’t expect more than we are willing to give.

Who is with me?!?